Chronicles of Madeleine's Maman

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:26:08 GMT

Here she is!
Madeleine Rose
Born June 9 2005
at 9:02 pm
8 pounds and 6 ounces
20 inches

It was a long and hard labor with an epidural that didn't even work. It was very very hard but we made it!
Vaginally as well...thank god it's over...we are so happy in love!

Birth story much later..

Baby will be here soon

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:12:34 GMT

I went to the hospital last night due to a lot of low abdominal aching and some diarrhea.
Doc came and checked me only to say that my cervix is still super super thick and still only 1cm dilated.
He decided enough is enough and would like me to come in wednesday night to be induced. First, they'll give me cervidil or cytotec to get the cervix softened and hopefully by thursday morning will start the pitocin via IV. I am really nervous as I have heard so many god awful bad things online about being induced.
But Enough is Enough! I'm ready to get her out! Anyway I'm overdue now so I know she's good and healthy.

Soooo anxious!

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 03:18:21 GMT

Today is my official due date..no baby and no signs of baby even coming.
Ohhh well.

I did celebrate today though by going to the swimming pool for the first time this year and let me tell you, it was pure bliss feeling so light in the water!
How I wish I could have had the opportunity to swim during pregnancy!
I will try to go back tomorrow..it felt great and gave me great energy as well.

She'll be here soon.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 05:26:41 GMT

oh the anxiety!

Is this a sick joke?

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 01:21:42 GMT

Well...
No baby still!

Doc said I haven't made any progress. So, even though he told me last week that if I hadn't made any progress this time we'd set an induction date, he changed his mind!
He said since my blood pressure is normal, baby still moving, and my weight gain still steady (50lbs!) gasp, no need to induce...he said 'see ya next week!'.

I think I'm gonna cry now. It simply isn't cute anymore.

Thu, 26 May 2005 21:30:57 GMT

Still no baby...

Went to the doctor Tuesday and nothing has changed since last week when I was dilated to 1cm and 1/2...
No effacement, or loss of mucus plug or anything exciting like that.

So the plans are...to go back to the doctor on May 31st, have him check me again, and set a date for induction most likely that weekend..So, if I don't go on my own, I will probably have her the first weekend in June, which is my due date anyway..(june 4th). He keeps mentioning a possible cesarian due to my small pelvis but he would try inducing with pitocin first and if that didn't work of course we would go ahead with the c section. He just wants me to understand it is a real possibility.

Anyway, I am trying to keep cool and hang on until next Tuesday. I'm starting to lose my mind. I almost started crying today. I am so tired of my Mom ironing baby clothes and watching her being glued to TLC baby shows all day long. There is no baby here yet! And I am tired of everything revolving around baby when baby isn't here! It's almost starting to feel unreal, and like all of this is some sick game, lol.
The last few weeks of pregnancy are the worst, they are so overwhelming, it almost takes the fun out of waiting for baby!

Oh well...I think all of this has to due with severe boredom. There is nothing to do around here and of course, we can't go far since I could go into labor anytime now.
I can not wait for her to get here now...We could not be more READY! In fact, we are TOO ready!
We should have started preparing later! haha..

It won't be long now..that's for sure...

Sat, 14 May 2005 05:09:45 GMT

Madeleine Rose
I'm just waiting for you...
please come please come
maman is waiting
bisous bisous

Tue, 10 May 2005 19:29:02 GMT

she turned !

Now she is head down, had an ultrasound to confirm, i guess the real waiting begins now...
my cervix was closed as well....so no action as of yet....

happy she turned but hoping she will come soon!

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 04:56:17 GMT

Had my check up today...
baby is breech...
doc seems to think she will need to be delivered by C section, kinda dissapointed about this..
he said she could be here as soon as 2 weeks from now and as late as 4 weeks..
so looks like i will be having her much earlier than expected!
I thought it would be six weeks from now.
I will have more news on May 10th at my 37 week visit.
I am kinda concerned.

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 04:24:19 GMT

well for some reason the pic isnt coming up...
i will post something else lata.

This morning

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 22:51:30 GMT

This morning my mom and I sat in the garden and watched the birds eat seeds from our feeder. It felt really good out there and I was surprised by how many different birds we have. There were chickadees, yellow finches, red birds, barn swallows and blue birds too. My mom took a snapshot of me but it is really bad as I had just woke up really and had my hair up and no make up on. I was still in my pyjamas. I didn't really want to post it online but it does show my belly fabulously. So here I am at 33 weeks and 4 days. I am due June 4th...getting close!

Free money

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 03:57:06 GMT

I got a letter from the university showing my financial aid award today.
I got the maximum in federal pell grants so that gives me 4050$ for both semesters, plus something called a supplemental grant which totals 500$.
These two grants cover tuition and fees for the year. However, I still need money for books so that's is obliging me to take a subsidized stafford loan. I will take the maximum amount which is 2625$ for the year.
I just hated pressing that enter button to accept the loan (as I have been in this situation before).
I am more than thrilled though that I was awarded the full pell grant. It was what I was hoping for and figured I would get since I have no income and will soon have a dependent.
Glad that school finances are taken care of, already!

Things kinda got ugly with my sis tonight. She is such a drama queen. Good luck to her and her future. I predict it will be very hard for her to have relationships with people. After all, she has been diagnosed with obsessive defiant disorder. She annoys people on purpose. Uhh I don't feel like getting into it.
Just need to shrug it off, won't be the last time this happens. I'm not violent but I sware I do want to slap her, often.

Waiting on baby.....,

Maman

PotPourri

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 05:15:38 GMT

Namaskar.

Had a great time tonight..went to India nite at the university..I got to wear ONE of my salwar kameez' that I bought in India. It felt good to have some fun for once and be around smiling people. Although, please remember that I am 33 weeks pregnant, not normally that WIDE looking!!
Here are two pics..first one is of me and a friend and second is everyone dancing on stage after the show..

Que le monde est triste...

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 04:32:32 GMT

Had Epidural class tonight at the hospital. It was very informing.
But before going to class, my mom and I had one of our signature shit-hit-the-fan fights.

I did go to the doctor today for a check up and everything is fine with the pregnancy still. I didn’t gain anyway weight since my last visit two weeks ago. I’m weighing 138.5 pounds. He said everything is on track but he did do a blood test to check my hemoglobin count because I told him I have been really tired.
Today was a hectic day with mom…got pretty ugly.
I keep praying about it, asking God to forgive me for past and present errors but I always feel like God doesn’t want to forgive me. I don’t know why.

Madeleine Rose

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 02:47:59 GMT

what a great day!

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 05:36:55 GMT

I went to the ob gyn today and found out the sex of the baby!

It's a .......................

GIRL!

I couldn't believe it. I cried a lot there while watching her on the screen.
She is so neat!

And I have her name picked out too.........

Madeleine Rose

Madeleine is a children's book that I loved as a child which takes place in France. I felt it was an appropriate name for my lovely daughter. I am so excited. I am on cloud nine.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 18:39:04 GMT

Last night, we had a huge party here at my parent's house. We did a head count of 60 people.
It was a lot of fun. We had fireworks and a big bonfire. I ended up going to bed though at 1 am. I guess being 18 weeks pregnant doesn't leave you with that much energy. Well, here are two pictures one of me and my mother and the other one of my 18 week belly shot.

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 04:56:58 GMT

Well I got into the states on Dec 18th and everything has been going extremely well since. I am going to start making this friends only because it is better that way. I am now almost 18 weeks pregnant and weighing only 111 pounds so that is excellent, very happy about that. I don't know how long that'll last though because I have rediscovered rotel dip for the first time in three years and Dr.Pepper. Doctor Appt on January 5th , will hopefully find out the sex then. Very excited. Parents being super duper and supporting me through everything and prepared to help me get back to school August 2005. 2004 had to be the worst year of my life so far, 2005 can only get better and of course it will I am going to be a mommy!

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 21:27:02 GMT

i'm going to india for ten days. leaving on tuesday....last minute, before i become a mom vacation!
erica

random

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 20:04:23 GMT

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 14:04:00 GMT

Ok I've got the final verdict about my dog. He's not coming with me back to the United States. I called the vet yesterday to schedule his rabies shot because I know he needs one to travel. The vet asked me when I was leaving I told him Dec. 18th , he said "OHhh well I'm sorry to tell you but a rabies shot takes one month incubation time so it's too late". crap.

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 09:32:37 GMT

le souvenir de ce jour

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 18:41:17 GMT

WHAT A HORRIBLE AFTERNOON!!!
He's done it now! Yes, he has gone OVER FUCKING BOARD! OVERBOARD!
Who? My fucking boss...excuse the fucking language.
What did he do now? Ohhh he really lost it!

7:00 AM
Woke up, didn't sleep hardly at all last night, feeling really pukey and vomity so I called my colleage on her cell phone at 7:58am. The school opens up at 8:30 and I had my first class scheduled for 9:00.
"Hello Maryline? Hi, It's Erica. I'm not going to be able to come into work this morning. I hardly slept and I have morning sickness. So, could you please let Philippe (boss) know as soon as possible? And make sure you tell him that after I get a little sleep I'll come in this afternoon for my night classes. OK?
Maryline: "Ohhh ok take care of yourself" Me: "OK are you in the car?" Maryline "Yeah I could barely here you!" Me: "OK, but you got all that?" Maryline "Yeah, stay at home, get some sleep Erica, I'll let him know" Me: "Thanks and Have a good day". bye bye.

The rest of the morning, I stayed in bed until about 11. I got up, showered, had lunch, hung out, got online. By 4 o'clock, I was feeling really really good. So, I went to work.

4:OO PM

When I walked in the door, I started to take my coat off and there were about 15 students standing around, all the office doors open including my boss's, and he begins! (in French but I'm translating)

BOSS: Erica, you can go. I don't need you today.
ME: What? But I'm here, I feel better, I told Maryline I'd be in this afternoon. I have classes.
BOSS: No, I've found someone to replace you for today. Leave.
ME: No. I'm here to work. I have classes. Why do I have to leave? Can't we talk about this quietly in your office please?
BOSS: JUST LEAVE!
ME: Why? I was sick this morning! morning sickness! Didn't Maryline tell you that I would come in this afternoon?
BOSS: NO, she didn't tell me.

(Maryline is standing there.)
ME: Maryline, you didn't hear me when I told you this morning that I'd be in?
HER: NO, NO, I guess I misunderstood.

ME: OH Well, I told her I'd be IN!! I'm pregnant! Pregnant women can get sick in their first trimester! You know?!
BOSS: Sylvia ( a girl on maternity leave) was NEVER sick! I don't believe it! You are just using it as an excuse! Bring me a letter from a doctor stating that you can get sick but for now, GET OUT!!!!

And with this, I left.
And said fuck you under my breath.

So, I got in touch with a friend of mine. I needed moral support right away. I told her I'm ready to go in there and tell him, that's it. Forget it, Fuck you, I'm outta here for good and I won't wait until December 17th for my last day, My last day was yesterday. GOOD BYE. But of course, I really need the money. SO, my girlfriend said make sure I get a letter from the doctor stating that all pregnant women are different and can get sick etc etc. And then go put it up under his nose.

I'm so stressed, I came home and went right for a bag of chips.

ME:

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 14:25:45 GMT

I got a new icon!

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 20:55:02 GMT

Today was really stressful!
I called about making sure the reservation I made for my dog to take the flight with me on December 18th had actually been reserved. It is but that's not the problem. I am now being told that it depends on the temperature in Dallas on December 18th... When I get to Paris to check in for the flight , they'll check to see if it's less than 45 degrees in Dallas, Texas. If so, then my dog can't fly!!
OH MY GOD: I'll die, I'll cry, it'll be the end of the world! My dog is my best friend and my buddy who is always there for me in bad times! I need him! I'm so worried. I checked out the average weather in December in Dallas and it really varies. It can be anywhere between 65 degrees to 37 degrees!
So, I'm not feeling reassured right now. My neighboor has agreed to come with me to the airport so that if I can't take him with me (boohoo boohoo), she'll bring him back to our city and call my ex boyfriend to drop a bomb on him saying "Erica's pregnant and she left to go back to the United States and left the dog behind for you!". He will shit himself! He doesn't want the dog but who else will take him?!
I don't want to start looking for a family to adopt my dog! my dog! my first born! the love of my life, I can't leave him! I'm extremely worried about this. I love my dog !

Changing the subject now...
Mom called to say that Medicaid won't be a problem, she got in touch with a friend of hers who's daughter got it very easily and to tell me that there is a wonderful pregnancy center in town which provides free parenting classes to single mothers to be. The classes are said to be really interesting. Well, that's about it. As far as symptoms go around here, no real nausea, but a yucky acidy taste in my mouth and serious fatigue. I've been really lonely and I'm ready to be around my family to have some love and hugs and positive thoughts sent my way.

Je veux partir mais j'ai toujours un peu peur. Si il faut que je laisse mon chien, ça va me tuer.
C'est pas possible...je t'en prie, là haut, pense à l'amour que mon chien me donne, j'ai besoin de lui, j'ai besoin de lui pour partir, il me rappel de la france, et il me donne de la force de vivre.
pfff.